I never considered myself much like Carrie Bradshaw. Samantha on the other hand, we would really get along. However, Carrie and I do have some things in common, mostly upended relationships and the love of vodka and shoes, but closely behind those two writing has always been my vice. But I gave up on the dream of writing a blog years ago until recently when I had the twenty-something thought go through my head: what the hell am I doing with my life?
The last four months have been eye-opening. If you ever think you are too complacent with the world whirling around you, try moving across country for a job, quitting said job, deciding to take a whack at law school, interviewing and interviewing and more (you guessed it) interviews, and basically taking a three-month sabbatical from reality. 10/10 would recommend. For a while I put on this HBIC persona because I didn’t want to feel the welling anxiety and immense pain I was going through. Let me tell you, that didn’t last long.
About a month into living in DC, after Postmates stopped being fun and I started to form blisters on my feet from walking everywhere, I left my phone in an Uber on the way home from a workout class. I sat, on the front steps of my condo and Kim Kardashian sobbing, not because of what I had lost, but because of the glaring realization that I had lost myself. It was like finals week, meets sorority recruitment, mixed with watching The Notebook during your period. For the first time in a month, all I wanted was to call the boyfriend I once had, hop on a flight back to Idaho, and act like I had never left at all. All at once I wanted the whole world, and I wanted my old world back. Luckily, not five minutes later Steve the (incredibly sweet and stupidly handsome) Uber driver turned back around when he realized I had left my iPhone on the back seat. He felt so bad when he saw me looking like a drowned rat that he gave me a pity hug and my phone back; complete with Steve’s phone number to which I have not reached out. You can’t go on a date with a guy who’s seen a full on melt down before he even knows you’re crazy. I digress.
After the bottle of wine I consumed later that night, and the hours crying on the phone with my best friends, it was time. Time to take charge of what I want and use the time I had off between September and Election Day to lose my college weight, acquire the job I wanted, and live the life I deserved. In my short 23 years there have been many pivotal moments that have required unabashed amounts of strength to get through, but never entirely on my own. I tell you this to start as a basis of our friendship, for those who know me, and those that don’t, it’s important to see the struggle before the success to understand how humbling merely existing can be.
Life is truly all about timing and there’s no time like the present to follow a dream. So, let’s go the extra lifestyle and remember, Mims The Word.